What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems Therapy, or IFS, is a model of therapy that has been shown to be very effective for difficult early life experiences and anxiety. IFS focuses on changing old patterns, healing trauma, and bringing a greater sense of peace and confidence.
IFS is based on the idea that as we go through life, we develop strategies and tools to cope with situations around us. Sometimes, we can struggle to update those tools and strategies to current situations. IFS focuses on changing those old patterns and beliefs so that we can live more fully in the present.
If you are ready to…
Come to terms with difficult childhood experiences
Overcome self-doubt and harsh self-judgment
Build better relationships with family, friends, and partners
Manage overwhelming thoughts and feelings
Learn healthier ways to deal with stress
Feel more confident and capable during big life changes
…Then IFS may be for you.
We are made up of parts.
We are raised to believe that each one of us is “of one mind,” so to speak. IFS suggests an alternative way of viewing the mind. Instead, we can understand ourselves as containing many parts.
Hold on. Are you suggesting we all have multiple personality disorder?
Not at all. Simply put, we all contain degrees of multiplicity. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:
“Part of me feels like I should get lunch with my mom when she asks me, but another part knows I’ll only get hurt.”
“I don’t understand why I keep staying with him; I keep telling myself to leave but then another voice inside my head wants to see him again.”
“I work so hard to keep it together at my job, but when I get home, I can’t do anything other than flop on the couch. Why am I acting so differently at home?”
…then you have seen the multiplicity of the mind at work.
Why do parts matter?
All of our different parts help us function. You may have parts of you that help keep you organized, parts that help you relax, and parts that keep you connected to the people you love and things you value.
Our parts are also here to save us when we go through difficult periods. They will take on more extreme roles in order to get us through. When you were a kid, you may have had parts that took on busy and productive roles to get you through times when you were neglected. You may have parts of you that never learned to relax, and instead learned to shut everything down when they had the chance instead, just so you could get some sleep. Parts are always trying to help us.
The problem is, when that situation ends, parts sometimes have difficulty coming back from their extreme roles. They need help to see that the world is safer now than it used to be.
IFS works with your parts to help them feel safe enough to step out of their extreme roles.
What does IFS look like?
An IFS session may feel different than what you’ve experienced before. We’ll start with the present—what’s going on in the here and now. Then, as emotions arise, we’ll slow down and focus on what that feels like in the body. I’ll help you track the internal dialogue until we can develop a sense of what parts of you might be present. We might focus on one part in particular and work to understand its role and how other parts might be reacting to it. Then, we’ll work on unburdening old beliefs, patterns, and memories.
In practice, what this looks like is switching back and forth between dialogue and tuning in to what you’re feeling, hearing, or seeing in your mind and body. I’ll be paying close attention to make sure any internal experiences don’t overwhelm you. Through conversation and careful attention, we’ll help parts leave old patterns in the past and move forward.
You can experience healing and change from IFS.
